New Year, New Decade, New Chances for New Opportunities. I’m not that person that tries to reinvent themselves every year but I’m making some small changes that I hope will lead to big results. One of those changes is to do away with Goals or New Year’s resolutions.
Goal is defined by ‘the object of a person’s ambition or effort: an aim or desired result’. Every year, we sit down and list these big goals for ourselves and anything less than that is considered a failure.
“I wanted to save 25k but I only managed to save 15k, what a failure I am. I had this goal of losing 20 pounds and only lost 10 pounds, the year was a waste! “
I was that person. If we’re being honest, I am that person. However, I’ve decided to make a conscious effort and change my mindset from that thinking. I think a lot of my decision to change that way of thinking has to deal with a book I read this past year. I had heard so many good things about this book but was hesitant to sit down and read because I’ve never been a person that enjoyed reading self-help books. I could do an article or a couple of pages but 200+ pages of how I need to get my life together? Uh no thank you.
So I’m in 2nd & Charles (the Walmart of used book stores) and they were running a sale for buy 5 get 5 and I felt like a kid in the candy store. I had a book list on my phone of recommended books via friends, family, Instagram, etc. and proceeded to get some great book from my list. I get to this book and decide, ‘oh they don’t have it, and I’ll just go to the next items on my list’. Turns out they had 1 copy that was just brought in and I don’t know about you guys but I consider that a sign to get the book. I get home and immediately started reading and read the book in less than 3 days.
The Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes is single handily responsible for me looking at life in a different light. Instead of only seeing my failures and being ashamed to acknowledge and be boastful of my wins, I decided to switch that shit up. Yes I’m a damn good wife and sister and friend and influencer! No I’m not a good drive and have crazy road rage but I’m 32 and accident free *proceeds to knock on wood*.
In an effort to change my mindset, this process of goal setting seems mundane to me and I refuse to create these numerical numbers that make my feel like failure if I haven’t marked off EVERY SINGLE ITEM by December 31, 2020. I’ve decided to be intentional with my year. I will intentionally be happy. I will intentionally create happy hour and brunch dates with my friends. I will intentionally make sure that I’m active every single day of the year. I will intentionally make good choices eating and allow myself grace with Aunt Florence comes every month and craves all the chocolate goodies in Trader Joe’s.
I guess what I’m saying is, yes I have things that I’m great at and yes I have things that I need to work on. So I will be intentional with those things that I need to work on while giving myself praise on those things that I do oh so well. That’s something that I never gave myself … praise. It’s something that we as a people have a hard time doing. Tooting my own horn and giving me a pat on the back is somehow seen as boastful or I’m putting myself on a ‘high horse’. In 2020, if that’s what you think then I’ll be riding on my ‘high horse’ off into the sunset.