Goal Setting is So 2019
New Year, New Decade, New Chances for New Opportunities. I’m not that person that tries to reinvent themselves every year but I’m making some small changes that I hope will lead to big results. One of those changes is to do away with Goals or New Year’s resolutions.Goal is defined by ‘the object of a person’s ambition or effort: an aim or desired result’. Every year, we sit down and list these big goals for ourselves and anything less than that is considered a failure.
“I wanted to save 25k but I only managed to save 15k, what a failure I am. I had this goal of losing 20 pounds and only lost 10 pounds, the year was a waste! “
I was that person. If we’re being honest, I am that person. However, I’ve decided to make a conscious effort and change my mindset from that thinking. I think a lot of my decision to change that way of thinking has to deal with a book I read this past year. I had heard so many good things about this book but was hesitant to sit down and read because I’ve never been a person that enjoyed reading self-help books. I could do an article or a couple of pages but 200+ pages of how I need to get my life together? Uh no thank you.
So I’m in 2nd & Charles (the Walmart of used book stores) and they were running a sale for buy 5 get 5 and I felt like a kid in the candy store. I had a book list on my phone of recommended books via friends, family, Instagram, etc. and proceeded to get some great book from my list. I get to this book and decide, ‘oh they don’t have it, and I’ll just go to the next items on my list’. Turns out they had 1 copy that was just brought in and I don’t know about you guys but I consider that a sign to get the book. I get home and immediately started reading and read the book in less than 3 days.The Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes is single handily responsible for me looking at life in a different light. Instead of only seeing my failures and being ashamed to acknowledge and be boastful of my wins, I decided to switch that shit up. Yes I’m a damn good wife and sister and friend and influencer! No I’m not a good drive and have crazy road rage but I’m 32 and accident free *proceeds to knock on wood*.
In an effort to change my mindset, this process of goal setting seems mundane to me and I refuse to create these numerical numbers that make my feel like failure if I haven’t marked off EVERY SINGLE ITEM by December 31, 2020. I’ve decided to be intentional with my year. I will intentionally be happy. I will intentionally create happy hour and brunch dates with my friends. I will intentionally make sure that I’m active every single day of the year. I will intentionally make good choices eating and allow myself grace with Aunt Florence comes every month and craves all the chocolate goodies in Trader Joe’s.I guess what I’m saying is, yes I have things that I’m great at and yes I have things that I need to work on. So I will be intentional with those things that I need to work on while giving myself praise on those things that I do oh so well. That’s something that I never gave myself … praise. It’s something that we as a people have a hard time doing. Tooting my own horn and giving me a pat on the back is somehow seen as boastful or I’m putting myself on a ‘high horse’. In 2020, if that’s what you think then I’ll be riding on my ‘high horse’ off into the sunset.
